Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
