Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize