And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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