You work out of a Hotel?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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