last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
