The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
This is my gift to your gina
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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