Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
