i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
