Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
