Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
