dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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