i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
