i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
