i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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