whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
