So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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