you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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