I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
