somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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