i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
