Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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