Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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