well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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