he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
