Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
