Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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