Well apparently he's into motor boating.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
