Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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