Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
