friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
