So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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