im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
