That's intense
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
two words: eviction party
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
