So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
