Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize