Define "chronic" masturbator.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
