brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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