is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
