When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
