U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
