please come you make the beer taste better
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
