I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
you made out with another girl for some wings
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
