I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
