I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
