I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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