Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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