Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
