After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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