First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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