Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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