i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
