O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
