I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize