I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
