I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
