Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
