Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
