At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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