Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Someone shattered a urinal.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
