piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She is in my trunk
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
