i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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