About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
