I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize